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It is human nature to shift blame from oneself onto the 'other guy'- even though we KNOW that it's wrong. Making the excuse that you are only doing something wrong because it had been done to you is a cop-out. It's the easy way out. It is not the morally correct way, though. It is not even the most sane thing to do.

Would it be alright if someone walked up to you and hit you just because you had unknowingly hurt or embarrassed him in some way? To make him feel better, less like a wimp to his buddies or that girl he'd had his eyes on all day, he needed to make you look just as badly as he felt; he had to make you pay. You'd understand, wouldn't you? I don't think so. Why would you do the wrong thing just because of popular opinion, although you must know that you would not want anyone to do the same thing to you?

Or, take the viewpoint that the other guy would do it if the 'shoe were on the other foot'. I once had someone tell me it would be alright to do something to someone else because he knew they'd do it to him if they had the chance to do so. I asked that person if he really knew the other person would take something from him if he'd had a chance or if he was just projecting what he would do onto the other guy. He admitted that if it was him, he'd do it... so the other guy would probably do the same if he got the chance, too.

What kind of reasoning is that?

The same kind that those who do something wrong to another person just because that person did something he/she didn't like to them would use, that's what kind. Deep down inside of us we know when we have acted inappropriately. So, ironically, this immature behavior does just the opposite once we've taken the time to reflect upon it. Instead of making us feel good about ourselves, we feel even more embarrassed and petty, causing us to try other more self-deprecating means of vindicating ourselves. In the end, the thing we had thought to avoid-us appearing silly, weak, or unsophisticated-turns out to be exactly how others will see us.

Face it. Let it go. Two wrongs will never make a right, no matter how much we try to justify or rationalize it to be so. But, they can cause irrational acts of violence and wars. We really should think before we REact, shouldn't we? Given a moment's pause things will right themselves if we allow them the opportunity. Why not let the other guy get exactly what he deserves? Let HIM end up looking like the fool that he is for having started it all in the first place.

Learn more about this author, Edwyne Rouchelle.
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