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I am always amused when I hear someone exclaim, "S/he is one of my best friends!"

Why?

Because I find having a best friend is something like having a love interest or mate. You can truly have only one BEST friend; others may be friends, but not BEST. Being a best friend means you must work at it like you would a romantic relationship. Not many of us have the kind of time to invest in more than one of those at a time, if it is to be a working relationship.

Okay, I hear you screaming, "That's not true! I have two [three, four... eight] best friends! We would do anything for each other. There's nothing I have that I wouldn't give them, nor they me. You're wrong!"

Alright. A little proposition for you. Answer the following questions. Be honest. Take your time and reflect. Think about each question in depth before you respond. Here they come:

1) I always tell her/him the truth about everything, no exceptions.
2) If s/he has personal misfortune, I lose sleep trying to help him/her work it out.
3) I would never think to question his/her loyalty to me.
4) I can recall every important incident in his/her life, with only slight prompting.
5) We share the bad times in each others lives as well as the good times.
6) If by chance I did not tell him/her the truth or forgot to tell the whole story, s/he would forgive my oversight.
7) I know I can count on him/her to be candid with me about anything, not just tell me what s/he knows I want to hear.
8) I trust him/her with my well-being/life/whatever because s/he has earned it with a well-proved history of consistency.
9) S/He would act in my best interest, no matter what the consequences to his/her own wishes and knows I would do the same for him/her.
10) S/He would be the first person called by my family and/or loved ones if anything ever happened to me.

Okay. How did you do?

There are ten questions and twenty answers to those questions for each person you call your best friend. Each question should be answered from your view point and from the best friend's view point, as applicable to each. Remember, you are answering these questions. Don't forget to be honest, even if it is hurtful.

No flaking out. No waffling. We'll compare answers in my next article on friendship. Have those answers ready and come prepared to take notes.

Learn more about this author, Edwyne Rouchelle.
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