In some cases it's easy to choose your groomsmen - you have a couple brothers, a best friend since grade school, and your wife's brother (to show you're welcoming her family into yours). However, sometimes it's not that simple. Maybe you have a friend who would feel slighted if he wasn't asked. Maybe you have a friend who can't control his drinking, and you're worried he'll make a scene. Maybe one of your friends asked you to be a groomsman for him, but you're not sure you want him standing for you.

Whatever the case may be, the first thing to remember is that you should make the decision that YOU want to make. Don't be forced into anything from friends, family members, tradition, or anything else. In the end, you want the best group standing up there. You want the group that is going to be respectful of the fact that it's your day. You also want the group that wants to be there. If you have to decide between two friends and one is the nice, down to earth guy, and one is the crazy party guy, it's probably smart to ask the nice guy. He will be respectful to your extended family and friends. Sure, it's fun to have the party guy around at the bachelor party, but not necessarily standing at the front of the ceremony on the wedding day.

Also keep in mind that there is more for people to do at a wedding than just being a groomsman. If you feel like you slighted someone, ask them to be a reader at the ceremony. Or maybe they are outgoing and would like to introduce the wedding party or say a blessing at the meal. Maybe they could make a toast. Whatever the case, you can probably find something for them to do that will make them feel like a part of the day.

If all else fails, there's no rule written anywhere that says you have to have groomsmen. There's nothing wrong with just having a best man stand for you or not having any groomsmen at all. The perception of weddings is changing every day. They are moving away from very traditional, formal, somewhat stuffy events; they're becoming unique, personalized, exciting celebrations of two people joining together. Some might see this as a negative, but most see it as letting the marrying couple create the day that they really want. So when it comes to picking groomsmen, as well as everything else you do for your wedding, just do exactly what you want to do.

Learn more about this author, Sean Curtis.
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