by Bianquita

Created on: June 04, 2007

RAGE

Broken glass.
Transparent sharpness of intent,
fills me with splintered life.

The most loving thing I can do
is shatter myself some more,
until there is only a poisonous,
sparkling powder
left
of the original splendor.

I have never touched you
because mercy
has guided my motion.
I could not bear to see you crumble
underneath the heaviness
of my petrified dreams.

I bend my knees. And fall.

The moment of judgment comes.
Not in death,
but here, in the moist boredom of suburban life,
where the guilt of collective greed
takes refuge
behind perfect pink tulips.

I hurt.
I hurt. Here. Inside.
Underneath my rib cage
where I am still holding you
like a relic in a dark Cathedral,
memory of resurrected nightmares
that filled the smallness of my mind
when I realized
I could never make you see me.

She's got her boyfriend upstairs,
the blond girl with the cold eyes.
I stare at whatever falls within my eyesight,
looking for redemption
in all the wrong places.

What right do I have
to spit this venom at you?
My Savior, I suppose. Or maybe not.
But luckily
you are not here,
and never will be
because Justice must prevail
in the name of Glory.

My Beast begs for Beauty.
Lamenting out of passion
for a Love that cannot be
in this human form.

For a Love that waits patiently to exist,
beyond the confines of non-existence.
Certainly, they must be right,
those who say
"Don't waste your time on her"!

I sink further.
Down.
I hold on to nothing as I fall.
Soon I will reach the other side of darkness.
Ready for Revelation
Bowing to The Boat Master who brought me here.

In spite of His warnings,
I crossed the Storm
and I reached the point where rescue is but an empty human word.

Devoted,
still at your Feet,
concealing nothing of what I have had to endure.
Not even my Rage
at losing you
to a brighter future
than what I could have given you.

Here I am, my most Beloved,
not far from the Angel's laughter.
Not bound to earthly perfection.
Not afraid of losing you anymore.

All is lost, my Love,
but my Love for you.
A diamond, buried in black carbon.
A crystal of Salvation,
unseen and unknown,
resplendent within my Soul.
A gift you never asked for,
and cannot lose.

Surely, you must have known that.

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