You might not be a "baby boomer" if you don't recall your family's 3 digit telephone number. Should you have no memory of "dialing" your friends number to find out who might be going to the drive-in movie on "carload for a dollar" night, you are also not likely to be a baby boomer.

Do you remember when girls wore bobby socks, and petticoats? How about penny loafers, and Levi jeans with razor sharp creases? Bonified baby boomers remember these things and a lot more. Greasy, duck-tail hair styles had a face-off with "flat-tops" for guys, and mood rings became a fad shortly after the hula hoop. Guess what, baby boomers have to remember the sock hop in the high school gym too, if not, you are definitely not a baby boomer.

If you don't remember when those "mop heads" from England took over the radio waves, "tube-type" by the way, you can't be a baby boomer. The fact is, baby boomers were the wild generation that parents feared was going to h#@*. Imagine, Elvis was turning young people into perverts, making them swivel their hips to suggestive rhythms. If you don't remember the locker room talk among the boys about how to "get to second base" with a girl, and the excitement that once was caused by the mini skirt, you don't even know how to say baby boomer with any authority, let alone get to join the club.

Baby boomers were cool, even groovy. Every male baby boomer was experienced with women, having "gone all the way many times", while not one local girl had ever had that experience. True baby boomers were possessed of supernatural powers in that respect.

The final test to determine your qualifications of worthiness to the title of baby boomer is the test of 25 cents. Do you remember going to a double feature Sunday matinee at the movie house, and having enough money for your ticket (10 cents), soda (5 cents), popcorn (5 cents), and a candy bar (5 cents)? Do you remember the news reel during intermission, and the color cartoon? If you don't remember those things, how about the bi-racial bathrooms for whites, and colored?

The bottom line is this, if you don't remember anything from the last paragraph, you are probably not a baby boomer. If you persist in thinking that you might be, check the calendar! It could be that you really are one, and simply have a lousy memory. That happens to some baby boomers, and if you don't even remember your birthday, surely someone in the family can help you out! No deserving baby boomer should be denied his earned heritage of being a baby boomer. I should know because I am one, and still going strong!

Learn more about this author, Bob Schmidt.
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