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If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.
Well, that's USUALLY the way it goes. But when it's a teenager you're talking about, you have to ask the question.
You probably won't hear an answer. Or, yeah, you might, but it most likely won't be entirely true. That's teenagers for you.
Are we all so old that we've forgotten what it's like to be a teenager? Have we all forgotten the sheer thrill of sneaking out to see that boy or girl our parents didn't like?

Have we forgotten how great those forbidden beers tasted, or how much fun it was to drive around in a car full of your friends, with the music blasting?
While many of us long for the good old days to return, things aren't all that much different now.
Kids still have crushes. They're still afraid to ask others on dates.
Every kid, at one time or another, is convinced that the entire world is staring at that big zit in the middle of his or her forehead.
They're under pressure to be cool, have some money to spend, get laid or not get laid, smoke or not to smoke, the list goes on.
And that's where we as parents come in. Because it's not the questions that we think we should never have to ask our teens. It's HOW you ask any question, and how we interpret the response.
So here's my questions:
1. What are you doing up there in your room?
If that door's shut, your kid could be doing anything from watching TV, taking a nap or sneaking a cigarette. Knock once. If they don't let you in, get in that room. And take a deep sniff.
2. Have you been smoking?
Again, use your nose. If your kid smells like an ash tray, it's not because HIS friends are smoking.
3. Where are you going?
Your kid really doesn't know where he or she is going. They'll tell you somewhere to give you an answer. If you don't believe that answer, call the parents at the other house.
4. Did you have dinner?
Your kid isn't going to starve just because you had errands after work. Anyone who is 17 years old knows how to feed him or herself. And one crappy dinner of chicken nuggets, french fries and a burrito really isn't going to do that much harm.
5. Were you drinking?
If you have to ask that question, you know the answer. Wait until they're sober to have that discussion. If you yell while they're drunk, it's just kind of pointless.
6. You were supposed to be at Billy's house. Why are the police telling me you're out after curfew?
See question 3.
7. Why does your music have so many curse words? Don't listen to it.
They'll just turn it up louder. And who are we to complain? We're the people who thought hair metal bands were hot.

And face it. It's just like our parents said. The day's here - we grew up and had kids just like us.
They'll grow up and run the country someday, and yep, they'll have kids just like themselves too.

Learn more about this author, Jayme Jones.
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