When choosing your groomsmen, the most important thing you need to look for is dependability. No matter how close you are or how great or funny so and so is, if they are not reliable enough to show for your wedding - don't choose them. The last thing you and your bride need is a no show on the big day.

I am not someone that thinks just because it is your brother or your brides brother they are automatically in. While family is important, it is also important to have that person who means the most to you to stand up with you on the most important day of your life.

Pick someone you are close to. Choose your friends, your favorite cousin, pick someone that you will be proud to have stand up with you. Pick someone that will help you stay calm and focused and won't lose the rings!

Depending on your venue and guests, you also need to think of someone that will fit into what you want for that day. If you know John will never ever dance as part of the wedding party dance, John doesn't get to be in the wedding. If Joey won't smile in any of the pictures, don't pick him. If Peter is covered in piercing and tattoos and you are not okay with that, don't pick him. If these are things that are important to you, you either need to make sure they are willing to go along with what you and the bride want or consider what is more important to you. That person being in the wedding or the pictures looking perfect.

Yes, I know, these things seem silly but you don't want to look at your wedding photos or video and see Joe not smiling. Things like this will make a difference in the end. But everyone is different, you need to know what you expect and what you want from the groomsmen. Once you know that, pick people you know will be able to fulfill that for you.

In most cases, the groomsman gives the toast. If your best friend is a real jokester and has many stories to tell, that could be either a good thing or a bad thing! Depends on what you want at your reception. A great toast that means something to you and entertains everyone, or everyone knowing what really happened at that party in college! Either way sounds good to me.

Pick someone you can count on and someone that means something to you. Make sure they will be willing to go along with whatever it is that is needed of them that day to ensure everything goes smoothly. Even if that means dancing with great Aunt Edna.

Learn more about this author, Beth Oliver.
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