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Humor: Observations from a bored housewife

Do you think the fairies do it?
That's what I always say to my fiance when he asks me why his dirty pants haven't made their own way to the wash basket. His reply? No, I always thought you did it. After all, it is your job.
Yes, he is still alive and I am still with him. Despite his many, many faults he is, deep down, under my thumb. He just doesn't actually realize it. I digress a little but who picks up the dirty laundry is just one aspect of being a bored housewife. Its boring because most housewives always do it and the one time it doesn't get picked up, men always notice. How come they never notice when they drop it on the floor?

When you're a housewife, there is only so much housework you can do and there is definitely only so much day time TV you can watch. Eventually, you will get bored and when you are bored, you start to notice things, mostly about your neighbors.
Before I moved to where I live now, my neighbors appeared to be quite ordinary but after injuring my back and becoming a bored housewife, I began to notice two things:
1; People are never what you judge them to be. 2; They will always surprise you.

My neighbors on my left side appeared to be pleasant, middle aged, quiet and unassuming. In the middle of cleaning my windows one day, I discovered they were anything but. They were in fact, the wildest swingers in town. Not one, not two, not three but four couples entered their house one Friday afternoon and lets just say that from the noises emanating from the house, they weren't playing Monopoly.

My neighbor on my right side appeared to be a heavily tattooed, long haired biker. He drove a Harley, spent most of his time in his garage plastered in grease and was a friendly if albeit, slightly loud individual. Imagine my surprise when I noticed two Jehovah's Witnesses pay him a visit and he actually let them in for a chat. When I next bumped into him, he told me that he was having bible studies with a view to being baptized. I had totally judged him from his appearance previously. Instead of his imagined Satan worshiping, he was a deeply spiritual person searching for God.

So, being a bored housewife can be very enlightening as well as extremely boring. It can also be very rewarding. On a warm Summer's day, after all the housework has been completed, there is nothing I like better than relaxing on the decking in my bikini, glass of wine in hand, watching a tanned, half naked man mow the grass.
It seems my partner does have some good qualities after all.

Learn more about this author, Theresa Curnow.
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