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I know now why second marriages have more success than the first. The first time you get married you are obviously younger, usually between 20 and 30, idealistic and emphatic about the wedding day. You spend endless time, money, energy, and brain power exhausting over getting everything just right for the 45 second walk down the isle. Then you say a few words, which you've rehearsed but can't understand due to tears and sobs. Next, you're whisked off to this elaborate party that you almost did not have because your future husband refused to refi his house. You greet, you eat, you can't wait to get off your feet. People throw things at you and you duck into a car to finally go enjoy the least stressful and least expense event - the honeymoon. The only part of the wedding that you can remember without visual aid.

The second time around, you reflect back on the first time. You laugh at yourself. Your priorities have finally aligned and you realize you are an adult. You only invite those closest to you and your soon to be. You spend thousands less even though finance are probably better. You let someone else do all the work and you enjoy the excitement of being in love and setting realistic vows this time around. You and your soon-to-be dance the night away in comfortable attire and sensible shoes and you don't care where you go next as long as it is together. This is the beginning of a marriage.
Experience is the best teacher, I've heard. We tend to approach marriage, the first time, with our own ideals and expectations but no matter how many books we've read, how much advise we have gotten, or how many movies we have seen, we still have no idea what we are getting into. The best thing about unsuccessful marriages is that they show us how to be successful if we ever muster up the courage to do it again. The wedding is all the fun. The day after is where the work begins. But that can be fun too - especially the second time around.

Learn more about this author, Che Hurt.
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