In the wilds of western Canada and the United States lives a wild man of the woods. This wild man is supposed to be as tall as 10 or 12 feet, although more commonly they are 6 to 8 feet tall. They are covered in long shaggy hair which, out of modesty, covers their bodies. Unfortunately, they seem to be unfamiliar with personal hygiene and it has been told that they stink; it's a smell worse than what emanates from old Uncle Albert.

In Canada this beast is known as Sasquatch, while in the States he is called Bigfoot, due to the size of the footprints he has left. I'm glad it's only footprints he has left otherwise I would hate to think of what he might have been called.

Most serious scientists refuse to even give this creature a second thought. They believe he is a character of myth and legend. They ignore the footprints as hoaxes perpetrated by bored mountain folk with no television to keep them entertained. There are hair samples that have been examined but they are unconvincing to scientists because they seem to come from known animals. Lastly, there are tapes of the big guy screeching in the night. Could these sounds have faked as well? I think if I had a nail gun driven into my foot I could make some ungodly sounds too.

There are a lot of sightings of this creature every year by seemingly reputable people. These sightings have gone back to times before Europeans arrived in the New World. Natives, for the most part, were in fear of the giant who ran around the woods naked, and who can blame them? I'd be afraid of naked men running around in my neighborhood!

The biggest question asked by serious scientists is, "Why has there been no body found." I guess they are thinking of Sasquatch road kill. So the believers simply suggest that science rarely finds the body of a bear or other large animal that has died of natural causes in the forest. There are so many little bugs and critters just waiting for their next tasty bear meal to come crashing to the forest floor the result of a heart attack. These critters could devour a bear in a matter of days. Besides maybe Bigfoot has the intellect to carry away their fallen Bigfoot brothers and honor their lives in a Bigfoot burial ceremony, with a large funeral pyre lighting the night sky. Or maybe they just get eaten by all those hungry bugs and critters.

The believers in Sasquatch have even suggested that the big guy is already known to science through the fossil record. Gigantopithecus blacki is the fossil of choice. Some of these folks would suggest that G. Blacki found its way from Asia to America as other animals had and they have only gone extinct in those areas which are easily accessible to scientific researchers. But G. Blacki lives on in the wilds of western Canada and the U.S. or so the believers would have you believe.

Until one shows up on the Jerry Springer show we'll likely never truly know if they exist or not but that's one Springer show I would want to see.

Learn more about this author, Randy Scott.
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