by Randy Pewtress

Created on: May 27, 2007   Last Updated: September 29, 2011

Hey Jimmer! This isn't about peanut butter....Sure, your ma gave you more peanut butter because she loved you. It was your issue of peanut butter. Your pa, didn't give you as much because he was stealing the rest of your peanut butter for himself. True story.

Conservatives start with the words "con". As a conservative, gone liberal, I have found conservatives to be a bit of the scum of the earth when you consider, from the very beginning they were against the American constitution because they were "afraid" the new nation wouldn't survive and they wanted to keep their money instead of become a new democracy.

Don't be so naive Jim. Your dad really wanted your peanut butter for himself. Not you. As a former conservative I see the war in Iraq as a money-maker. Screw the democracy thing. We never wanted that. War is good for our economy. Our economy. So far we've done nothing in Iraq and we've made a bundle. What's your peanut butter problem got to do with it anyway?..It's all about the almighty "buck". Jeepers Jimmer, in the beginning we were called "tories" we never signed the American constitution. Nor will we ever.

As conservatives we think it gives too much power to the stupid. We're not stupid, we wanted America to be a mini-England, except on our terms. We wanted voting rights only for rich land owners, (Go ask any history teacher), those rebel-liberals: Jefferson, Franklin, Madison and the bunch wanted "equality"...Hell, their ain't no equality Jimmy. If there were real equality a woman wouldn't break down every twenty eight days and make a man work the rest of the month. So don't go saying the constitution or anything is worth a damn.

Gee, there isn't really, any conservatives anyhow, we're all sell outs. In America, if we conservatives didn't block the constitution we would have blocked women and blacks from ever getting the vote. What is going on America? This isn't conservative. This is that damn...Jesus loving...Liberal crap that has made us what we are. Hell, Jesus wasn't a conservative either....He didn't even believe in a devil, the rebel, and as a conservative you have to be "afraid"...of everything, otherwise we couldn't steal your money, wage war with false intentions, put Jesus on a cross because he wasn't like us.

We're "afraid" I tell you.... And you must be too. We are crazy...To be a conservative you "avoid change"...To be a damn liberal you..."accept change"...We hate change....Who is "change" anyway? What do you mean..."the book of Isaiah"? What's Isaiah got to do with "change"...
As a conservative I believe those soldiers belong there for "my interests"...I'll dirty the word of everybody who isn't for me...and because I am the original Boss Hogg, Jimmy....your peanut butter is mine...mine....mine....Your liberal mama was only trying to be nice...I am Mr. Potter....Check out your miracle...Oh....The tories tried to sabotage George Washington, turn him over to the King of England as a traitor....until God let him win at Valley Forge....Damn it...we could be English by now if the conservatives had one...Instead, Jimmy, let's go Chinese...They have some really good food. You'll get use to it.

The Mind Pilot...changing the world one page at a time. Pss..You should have read the other article until "helium" snuffed it out...My epiphany is your epiphany...Jesus is cool and never could he have been a conservative. Go ask any American history teacher. We're just starting to emerge the real conservative/liberal debate Jimmy. But you must not be so naive to do just what you are told to do. You must educate yourself...too......An educated conservative creates a liberal thinker...my quote, nobody elses...it's mine, I tell you...Mine, mine, mine!

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