by Alycia Keating

Created on: May 26, 2007

Why do women buy so many pairs of shoes?

Buying shoes, for women, is a biological imperative. It's encoded in our genetic structure and there is just no escaping it. There is no cure, except to buy shoes when the urge strikes. Not responding thusly to the urge can cause severe crankiness, feelings of deprivation and binge-chocolate-eating.

It may have to do with the fact that it is drilled into our little heads from the time we can play with Barbie that we must be ornamental. This is akin to a man needing to be successful financially in some way. Beauty at all costs. Pain is no object. "We must suffer for beauty, my dear," I can remember my mother saying, archly.

Money is usually no object. If it's there, it's toast. I want the shoes.

To me, it's all about the shoes someone is wearing. Their whole life is right there, on their feet.

For instance, I don't hang with a Birkenstock crowd. I'm more the Chinese Laundry type. I'll go through Rocket Dog fits and wind up in little embroidered middle-eastern numbers. I am definitely not a docksiders person. When pedicured, less is more. Since I have great big hamburger feet, I try to stay with shoes that have long lines running from toe to heel, so they look more slender.

It may have to do with the fact that, when it comes to feet, most are equally ugly. It's a level playing field! It's one part of our bodies we don't have to be ashamed of. Feet are weird looking, period. We cover them up, or pedicure them and show them off; either way, the glory of shoes is the way to go. Shoes are furniture for your body. They reflect your soul.

Some women will wear the same sneaks with a different tee shirt and jeans every day. Openly, I say, "Live and let live." But I wonder, secretly, if they are really women, or if they are some sort of unacknowledged transgendered individual.

I know this explains nothing to you men out there. That's okay, don't feel too bad. There are worse addictions...

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