by Elizabeth Vaughn

Created on: May 26, 2007

By definition, promise rings are the same as the titles "boyfriend" and "girlfriend". Historically, the ring was to signify that a couple were 'going steady', which just meant that they were in an exclusive relationship. Today, we just ask if they will be our girlfriend/boyfriend, and start the relationship a bit simpler.

At least, that's the way promise rings started out. Since then, promise rings have gotten muddled with engagement rings, just as engagement rings have been confused with wedding rings. The whole ring concept seems to have gotten a bit out of hand.

Now, you can get married and only buy one ring- the wedding band. It is OK to use the engagement ring as the wedding ring, and apparently the promise ring has doubled as the engagement ring. But, how to tell for sure what ring it is you are getting?

You almost have to just ask him what HE meant by the ring. Rings are given for different reasons in all types of cultures, and they can all be misinterpreted very easily. The ring in general was originally a symbol of binding one person to something in some way, which can be taken in so many different ways it can be a pain trying to decipher it. If your relationship has been exclusive for awhile now, and he's given you a 'promise ring', chances are, he either didn't feel all that committed before then, or he wanted to assure you that the relationship has been taken to another level that is just shy of engagement. If neither of those apply, it is an engagement ring, and you should start planning the wedding.

If you strip away all the titles of rings and just pay attention to the intention of the ring bearer, you will have your answer to what his personal interpretation is of that ring. It gets very confusing to label every intention and try to match your feelings with the preset guidelines. Just call it a ring, and accept that your relationship has just grown stronger, and hope that it continues to grow until you get the chance to say 'yes'.

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