by HillyBillyB

Created on: May 25, 2007

A Grandmother's Love

I watched her sleep today; this sweet lady that I have been married to for 35 years. I looked at the silver strands of hair mingled in the gold. I looked at the calluses on her upturned palm. I saw, for the first time, the lines on her face. I saw the small lines around her mouth and eyes. Why had I never seen these lines before? I guess they are laugh lines. I guess the reason I do not see them is because she is always laughing. I watched her sleep today and I saw her, I really saw her.

The past week had been a tiring one for me. I will be 67 years old this September and I am certainly feeling the pains of old age. My wife has been sick this past week and I have been required to take over all the things that she normally does. My wife and I are the custodial parents of three grandchildren. Their ages are twelve, five, and three. They are all boys. They are a very busy group. They create a lot of chaos. Since my wife has been ordered by her doctor to stay on bed rest, or be hospitalized, I have tried to fill her shoes. I have learned that even though she has small feet she wears large shoes.

This past week I have felt like I am chained to the laundry machine, and still, the laundry piles up. I try to cook three meals a day, and clean the dishes afterward, but still, the kitchen looks like a tornado went through it. I have tried to get the three year old to take a nap every day, just like my wife does, but he runs through the house and creates more of a mess than one old man can clean up. How does one woman find the time to keep up with all the demands a family puts on her? How does she keep all the work done and still find time to play ball, go fishing, ride the ATV, help keep the lawn mowed, and read stories in the evenings?

I have tried to deal with petty arguments between these boys and make sure I do it fairly. I usually end up becoming as angry as the children. How do mothers and grandmothers laugh at these silly quarrels between children and keep everyone happy? I found myself wondering if my wife had been sneaking out of the house to take psychology courses unbeknown to me. Life this past week has been frightening. Trying to fill my wife's shoes has given me an inside look at what goes on around me every day without me even knowing. Life without her active presence has forced me to ask myself what I would do without her. How could I ever fill her shoes?

I watched her sleep today and I cried. I watched her and knew she had been battling this crippling form of arthritis without the aid of painkillers. As I watched her sleep, I could feel her love for me and her family. I understood, for the first time, that she puts herself last in every situation. That is not what made me cry. What made me cry was realizing that putting herself last is what made her happy. Her love is a felt, tangible thing.

I watched her sleep today and I love her.

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