by Ruth Woodhouse

Created on: May 25, 2007   Last Updated: July 29, 2009

I guess some relationships survive without humour - but many wouldn't last for long. For most of us humour is an essential ingredient of a meaningful relationship. While we wouldn't want to be around somebody for whom all of life was nothing more than a joke, life would be unbearable with someone who took life too seriously and didn't lighten up at frequent intervals. Laughter is a great stress-reliever and can help us cope even with intensely stressful circumstances - and the human faults, failings, foibles and irritating habits that could otherwise drive us to insanity or cause us to part company.

When I was 16 I was romantically involved with a fellow who was almost totally devoid of a sense of humour. I can't help but wonder now how our relationship even lasted as long as it did. Often when I made jokes he would get really annoyed and irritable or even self-righteous about humorous comments that were really very tame and inoffensive. I remember how he hated curry but loved milkshakes and I would joke with him about having a curry milkshake. But far from making some humorous retort, he would become really aggro.

When I met the man whom I have now been married to for 17 years, one of the things that attracted me to him most was his crazy sense of humour. He has a very clever wit and comes out with the funniest comments in response to things on TV. He could come up with some great material for comedy shows where they do send-ups of ads, celebrities, politicians and current affairs issues, etc. He can also do some hilarious impersonations. I can remember times in the early years of our marriage when my mother would be staying with us and he'd have us helpless with laughter. I would laugh so much sometimes that my stomach would hurt and I would be making snorting noises, trying to catch my breath. Then inevitably he'd start to take me off doing that - which would only make matters worse.

In more recent years stress has taken its toll and he's not always so spontaneously funny. He's at his best when he's not under too much pressure - particularly when he has a long holiday break. But even in the midst of very trying situations he can ease the tension with his funny comments.

Similarly, when we have undergone harrowing experiences, I have found an incredible ability to laugh about comments that he has made or anecdotes I have been sharing with those who have come to share our heartache and angst with us. Undoubtedly these experiences have not

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