by Laura W

Created on: May 24, 2007

I used to long to be in love;to have that partner for life, that long time companion. I used to think I knew what I wanted.
Ever since I had my daughter I know now that all my efforts at being in love have been amateurish, sophomoric at best.
My daughter has taught me some vital lessons in love. She's taught me to have patience, infinite amounts of it, to help me get through the hard times.

I've always had compassion but now I have even more. I don't see imperfections in other people. I see other mother's children. I realize that if my daughter had been born with any kind of disability I would have cherished her as much as I do now.

I've learned not to have expectations. All I hope for is that my girl is happy with her life. She can be a doctor, a truck driver, a lawyer or a topless dancer (okay, I'll have issues with THAT!)as long as she loves what she does and is content with her life.

I've learned to appreciate every moment I'm with her; to capture and store every single memory. I blink and she gets older and changes on me. Instead of wishing things would hurry along, I tend to want to hold on to every second and not let go so easily. I'm learning how to enjoy today.

I'm learning that I can be incredibly angry and still have love in my heart for her. Its this underlying current that runs in the background of everything, if that makes sense. It does to me.

I'm learning what intimacy is. It's not a sexual word at all. It's a bond. My daughter and I have been best friends since the moment I held her in my arms.

I'm learning that love can be terrifying but there's no way I'd ever walk away from it.
I know that love is unconditional. No barriers, no strings, no accusations. Love is strength, respect, friendship, growth and trust. My daughter trusts me with her life. She makes me want to be a better person. I want her to be proud of me, of who I am; who I become.
I know now that I had to have my daughter first. She's my angel, the one who was sent by God to show me what love really is.

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