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of eBay, Yahoo, Amazon, Warner Bros., I'm going to guarantee that they all have children... whether they know it or not. Can you tell me any of their names? Even Nicole Richie isn't anyone without Paris Hilton. Their reality show, The Simple Life, was originally supposed to be Paris and her sister, Nicole. Nicole Hilton flat-out rejected the role and Paris went through with it. That's the only reason that Nicole Richie is there. After season three, the ratings started to slip... I bet a public fight would really boost ratings. Hello, season four, multiple movie deals, and a CD that reached #18 on the Billboard Hot 100.

Now that the buzz from all those things is over, and the fifth season of her series is nowhere to be seen, she goes to jail. Was that an accident? Or was it genius shrewdly veiled behind an accident? I know, I know, you're going to tell me that no one is that good at playing stupid. Maybe you're right... But did you see House of Wax? Were you aware that it's a Joel Silver film? Yes, I'm talking about the guy who produced Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, the Matrix, Veronica Mars, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, V for Vendetta, Tales from the Crypt, Brewster's Millions, Weird Science, Predator, and a thousand other things. He can have anyone in Hollywood that he wants... and he chose her. She was good. And I don't just mean good compared to other One Tree Hill actors. Her whiny, nasally, excessively annoying persona was almost nonexistent in that entire movie. Or, the entirety of the movie that she was in. Now, I'm not saying that she's in the running for an Academy award, but I think she could be. Why doesn't she do her own Mean Girls you ask? She has the millions it would take to finance a movie lost in the crevices of her purse... But it would be too obvious. She has to start small, annoying, or she'll blow her cover. If she goes from the annoying little girl who "accidentally" released a sex tape to starring in the next Million Dollar Baby, she runs the risk of failure.

Watch this train of events for a moment... She comes out of basically nowhere and does just enough to catch the eye of the paparazzi. Soon after, she stars in a reality show that I would almost guess she pitched since her brand name is one of the companies financing it. Now, you can buy on to a television series but you can't buy ratings. Conveniently coinciding with the first season, when we all know series are vulnerable, A Night in Paris was accidentally released without her knowledge.

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