Being trapped in a loveless marriage is one of the scariest feelings I can imagine. I was beside myself with grief when I realized that I no longer loved my husband. For the longest time I had been just going through the motions doing my wifely duties and ignoring my growing sense of dissatisfaction.

I knew that he deserved someone that loved him and I deserved someone I could care about. It was scary for me because my husband Eric was all that I'd ever known. We had been together since our second year in high school and married at age 18. All the time people usually spend dating or exploring, I'd been married. I realized that I was afraid to move on and start over with a new person. I didn't want to alone, and in my mind have a sham of a marriage was better than having nothing.

There was also the financial aspect to consider. I still had two full years of college left and my part-time job selling digital cameras at Best Buy wouldn't get me through it. I would have nowhere to live if I left Eric. I would either have to move back home to my parents or stay in this failing relationship. I decided to tough it out because the thought of moving back home was worse than staying. Having no options is horrible feeling and I swore to secretly do something to help my situation.

I told myself I would start a secret savings account so that I could afford to leave if I suddenly needed to leave. I was never able to put back very much Eric still had entry-level positions and I only made eight dollars an hour. The first real opportunity I had to leave came a few months before my graduation. I sat Eric down and I talked to him about the prospect of divorce.

He was surprisingly supportive and not combative in the least. He said he knew that something was going on with me and he suspected I'd been thinking of this for a long time. When discussed certain scenarios and division of property. We really didn't have much to divide except a cd collection. Shortly after this conversation I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and hospitalized for three days.

This was a major setback for me and Eric held to the belief that I was only talking of divorce because I wasn't in a right frame of mind due to increased blood sugar levels. I didn't have health insurance and I knew that the only way I would be able to afford to care for my diabetes was through the insurance his job provided. I wanted to scream and cry and I did do both. When I was finally discharged

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