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Married Life

Marriage: Beyond the big day

Everyday is a new adventure when you are married. Everyday. Believe me. The idea that you are going to be with someone for a lifetime is enough to make anyone nervous (it made me crazy). I had never lived with anyone apart from my own family before I go married, and it shocked me. People are very different when you share, not only time, but toothpaste with them. Small habits that may have been hidden before suddenly surface. These are not always pleasant surprises or endearing behaviors. Sometimes they are downright gross. Sometimes they are even a little bit scary, but they can work themselves out. Even if you become afraid that you don't really know the person as well as you thought you did, if you keep cool and positive, things can end out alright. Remember, you fell in love with the person you are with. That person is still there, even if they aren't as well behaved as before.

Keep an open mind. Sometimes the weird schedule they follow or the amazing organization in their sock drawer is a better way of doing things. Just because your accustomed to a certain way of doing things, doesn't make it the only (or right) way. Everybody brings their strengths as well as their weaknesses to the table. Focus on the good things. The bad things won't go away, but they won't be as unbearable. Who knows, maybe your way is the really weird way in the first place.

Communication is the only way to a person's heart, even if you are the ultimate chef. Talk it out. I mean, don't nag or insult, but really talk things out from the beginning. Let your new spouse in on how you're feeling. Guessing games become boring and mundane. If you don't like it, tell them. More importantly, if you do like it, tell them. You are more apt to strike a compromise when they know they do something right, and compromise is much better than nothing.

Sometimes your attitude is what will make or break your relationship. People naturally take their cues from you. If you are sour and moody, don't be disappointed if your spouse is sour and moody. Approach everything as if divorce doesn't exist, and everything has to work out. Don't give up. Be there through everything. Remember that this person has already chosen you, so they already love you. Remind them that you chose them too and that you already love them. Don't be afraid to be wrong. Oh, and buy your own toothpaste tube!

Learn more about this author, Jennefer Taylor.
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