Unfortunately this is a loss I have had to deal with all too recently. When I was young, my family moved interstate, so I only really got to see my Grandparents once every couple of years after that, however they were the only Grandparents I knew since my Mother's parents had both passed away before I was old enough to know. So while I did not see them as often as alot of children see their Grandparents, I loved my Nanna and Pop dearly.

My Nanna was the caring, nurturing type, but fun loving also. She never swore, but was not at all strict. I remember having a sip of alcohol when I was young and she shook her head at me then winked, rather than getting angry like some Grandparents might. She would play board games with me, play me Rolf Harris records to go to sleep to, and read me books from her bookshelf. I still remember the many days I spent at their house growing up.

A few years ago, she grew rather ill and ended up in a nursing home. This would have been devostating for my grandfather. He had always had her there looking after him, cooking his meals, cleaning the house. Suddenly he became the nurturing partner. He would travel to the nursing home every day and spend his days with her. The love between them was so strong, and the kind of love I hope for in my own future.

On and off there were scares that my grandmother would pass away because she grew so ill. She seemed to pull through every time, but was definately in stages of dementia, forgetting simple things, like what she had eaten for lunch, but not who people were.

Then Christmas 3 years ago, we were at home winding down when we got a call to say she had passed. Yes we knew she was ill and could go at any time, but its still devostating.

We flew down for the funeral and I remember the think that broke my heart most through the ceremony was seeing the tears in my Pop's eyes. All the men of the family were so strong. He stayed so strong but that memory would always stay with me, just like seeing my own father wipe at his own tears before they escaped.

The next Christmas we spent with relatives, wanting to be close to everyone. My Pop was so fit and strong, and had filled his days with dinners with a different family member each day of the night. He seemed to be doing fine, and avoiding loneliness, all while being fit as a fiddle.

A few months later I was at work and had a call from my mother to say that my Pop had passed. The shock was so massive because he had not even been sick. It didn't feel at all real. I just could not imagine it being so.

The funeral was devostating, knowing that I had lost both my grandparents in such a short time. My dad was emotional like I had never seen him before, I guess realising he had no parents left. That tore at my heart also.

It has been less than a year since my Pop died, but occassionally I'll still have a memory of how fit he was, or think of some funny thing he did, or just remember his loss of losing my Nanna and I cry quietly to myself.

I guess there is no way to take away the loneliness of losing your loved one. In my heart I know that my Pop died of a broken heart. He was not unwell... but simply did not have as much will to go on without the love of his life. My Nanna died the day before their 60th wedding anniversary. It was a love to last forever and now they are at rest together. I think the pain of losing them will always remain with me, but at least I know they are together again.

Learn more about this author, Holly Rogers.
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