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Business, technology, gangland, politics, sport, have all been known to apply the principle of "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". What's it all about?

In one word, it's about competition. If you "know thine enemy" then you know their strengths, their weaknesses, their plans, their successes, and their failures. And when you know how they are doing, you can capitalize on the information.

Why do we hear so much about espionage, in war and industry? Moles? Undercover investigations? We want to know about our "enemies". Even in technology, the behavior of hackers is used to improve the security of our systems.

Even in our personal lives, we use the same principle. What is gossip about, if not to hear how badly someone else is doing in their life? We want to weigh our own achievements against someone else's.

But in fact our enemies can BE our best friends. They can tell us things that we may never have discovered from our friends. If we listen to gossip, we can hear what our enemies have said about us, our families, our friends, our achievements. And if we don't get defensive about what we hear we may learn something. "Her kids are so scruffy" she has told her friends. My first response is "My kids aren't scruffy!" But on second thoughts, they do sometimes turn out to sports events wearing old trainers and crumpled jog pants. Does it matter? Do I care what people think? No! My kids are happy, independent, free thinkers. But maybe I could iron their casual clothes more regularly. I learn something. I learn about my attitudes, my priorities, my values. I evaluate my life. My enemy has just done me a huge favor.

Turn your enemy into your best friend. I don't mean invite them around for coffee, or share holidays with them. But don't be threatened by them either. Learn from them, and you will learn about yourself.

Learn more about this author, Gill Breeze.
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