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Our thoughts, ambitions and accomplishments define who we are but more often than not, our desires are derived from years of social and media conditioning. I, myself, have fallen victim to unrealistic expectations in the dating world. This came to me as an epiphany when my buddy and I were discussing women we knew and rating them on a scale of one to ten; ten being the most attractive and one being the most homely in appearance. As we continued in such a degenerative form of judging, a question came to my mind. Who were we comparing these women to? What standard was set that allowed us to define and judge them as attractive or ugly?

The answer came quite easily. All I needed to do was look across the courtyard at the scantily clad models in the window display at Victoria Secrets. This is not to say in the least that Victoria Secrets is solely responsible for the way men compare, judge and think of women. The media, marketers and entertainment depict women in such a way that it sets an unspoken norm for which all other women are judged against. We have the entertainment channel which solely focuses on what's hot and what's not. We have a television channel solely dedicated to fashion. We have television shows and movies that mistake lust for love and rarely show the consequences for promiscuous actions and unbridled passions.

In my experience with dating, physical appearance has been far more important for men than for women. Of course there must be a mutual feeling of attraction but women find personalities and humor to be attractive as well, not just looks. Thus society has set a standard for women. Healthy is no longer sufficient. They promote that women must be skinny to be attractive, never mind who they are, what their accomplishments are or what their personalities are like. Women who would otherwise be ideal and compatible are overlooked because their looks are not "up to par" with societies' misguided standards.

All guys love to be seen with beautiful women, it instills in us a sense of pride. However, beauty will fade and so will the attraction unless it is based on what truly matters, who we are.

Learn more about this author, Rob Clark.
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