by lj egbers

Created on: May 21, 2007

There are two kinds of forgiveness that we physiological benefit from. To forgive one's self and to forgive another. The power to forgive is uplifting. It releases our minds and our souls. At the root of all forgiveness is acceptance. Acceptance of a behavior and how it hurt another must be present in order for forgiveness to take place.

We must know how to forgive yourself. We've made mistakes in the past. These can be minor or malicious life changing behavior. alcohol, drugs, marital affairs, mistreatment of others or gossip. One of the first steps to forgiveness is acceptance. Yes, you did something wrong. Yes you want to repair the damage. First, you need to forgive yourself. It is written: "God so loved the world he gave his only son." Yes, you are worth his forgiveness. This act of forgiving yourself is harder than any other form of forgiveness. In part, because we are admitting to our faults and we now have to take responsibility for our actions. This is not an easy task.

We have the hurtle of pride. Yes, pride. I know why it is listed as one of the seven deadly sins. We hide behind pride to rationalize our actions or to justify our inappropriate behavior. Feeling remorse is your first step for forgiveness. You are feeling terrible, just terrible for what you've done. Finding the strength in yourself to live and learn takes time. There isn't any quick get out of guilt free prayer or confession that repairs this damage. And yes, you are repairing the damage that your actions have done to you. Self-healing can be a slow, painful process, but you have to remember, you are worth it.

The other form of forgiveness is to forgive another person. This person hurt you. Hurt you deeply. Are we always going to be angry? I don't think that this is anyway to live. Weather this person is your spouse, next door neighbor or arch enemy, accepting their actions, understanding how or why it hurt you and having a willingness to move on. Sometimes this is easier said than done. Relationships can't always be repaired. Here we need to accept that and move forward. We need to curb our anger. We will not always understand why this person does what they do. We cannot change the fact that this person did something to you, but don't let this person feed off your anger. Don't empower them. Forgiveness neutralizes this anger enabling you to walk away from a situation with a clear conscience.

The road in life is bumpy. It is not an easy path. We have to deal with acceptance and pride at very personnel level. We have to make the decision of how we are going to live our lives. So the next time you hit a bump in the road, look down deep in yourself and remember that true forgiveness comes from the heart.

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