by Laurie Childree

Created on: May 21, 2007   Last Updated: April 02, 2010

Your marriage isn't the same as it once was. There  haven't been any nights out for a while. At first you chalked the lack of time up to busy schedules, now you aren't so sure. You begin to go over things again and again in your mind. Then you dismiss the thoughts that you've been having.

You have this nagging feeling that there is something wrong but you can't put your finger on it. Then one day it hits you. You feel as if you just ran into a wall. You know that your spouse the one you vowed to spend the rest of your life with is having an affair. There is only one problem you are in denial. You have to find a way to know for sure. 

The obvious is finding them in the act. Walking in on the two of them is the easiest way to get your proof. Unfortunately it isn't always that obvious. Subtle changes in behavior. They tend to leave the room or what until you leave the house to make phone calls. They ask you how you open an incoming message and when you go to show them because you don't know how to explain it they rip the phone out of your hand.

They never have their wallet when you go anywhere. Then all of a sudden they call you to see if they left it behind. This is when you know there is something in there that they don't want you to see. The funny is if they hadn't said anything the thought never would have occurred to you.

That happened to me. What you do in that case is go through it. You look in every little hiding spot. BINGO! We have a phone number. What now? We pick up the phone and dial. To be subtle when the woman you know is going to answer the phone picks up you just tell her that you have the wrong number.

Now here is a no brainier for you men out there. We are giving you the benefit of the doubt even though we called so do not call us right back asking what in the world we just did. This is a dead give away you are not where you are supposed to be. It takes more than half a second to get a call from someone telling you something and for you to call someone else about it.

Then there are those calls that you get at all hours of the night and no one is on the phone. The numbers are blocked so that you can't turn around and call them right back.

Another dead give away. Your husband, boyfriend or fiance works in a field all day yet he manages to come home freshly showered with clean clothes. He's wearing cologne he didn't have on when he left and he smells like he fell in a brewery.

They also claim to be working late but there is no overtime. This is easy to see when payday rolls around. They tend to think we can't figure out when they get paid for what. Guess what in the homes where we handle the finances we know all to well when you paid and how much it's supposed to be when you do.

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