by Laurie Childree

Created on: May 20, 2007   Last Updated: June 24, 2010

The subject me and men got me to think some, not much but some. Thinking of me and men brings up the question of just how many bad choices one person can make. I know that there are things to consider and red flags that should go up in most cases but they never do. Money, a nice car and a big house were all that mattered back then but now more important things have come to light. There is only a slight amount of regret at not realizing this sooner than I actually did.

Yes, once I wanted it at least all things material and when I saw my future there was no man in it when I had all of these things. I dreamed of being independent, self sufficient and just dating a few random men here and there as I traveled the world. When I had none of them and a family there was a man there. That's a messed up view in itself but that was me. To this day I have not managed to travel the world although the dream is still there. The difference is that now I dream of seeing it with my children instead of with an array of dates that may or may not be suitable for anything but a bit of fun.

When it comes to me and men I always make the wrong choices it seems. I don't know why but I do. Good looks seem to overrule my basic thinking capabilities when it comes to the decision of the right one. I seem to have a weakness for blue eyes and chiseled muscles that only come from a hard days work that no gym equipment ever made could imitate. You would think they made a manual for these things but no such luck. We are left to our own devices to figure this out and some times the lessons hurt or we fall on our faces thinking we may never get up again.

Those good looking men aren't always the nicer of the men or even the second choice that you should have made. So why do we always focus on looks first? Are we programmed that way from birth that the pretty people are the ones to seek out no matter how ugly they are underneath it all?

Currently in my third marriage you would think I have it right finally. Well, I'm not sure if you ever get it right. Long gone are the days when marriages were forever which is easily seen by looking at the divorce rate which is rising daily. So with the rate of divorce so high why are there multiple marriages?

There are doubts in everyone's minds about relationships. It doesn't matter how perfect they are to the rest of the world most of us still have "what if" moments. We question everything we do and never seem to find answers. The day we stop questioning our decisions and know we did what was in our hearts is one of the best days that we ever experience in our lives.

When thinking of myself and men I often wonder if I'd do it the same as I did the first time. Strangely enough the answer is usually that I'd do it basically the same. Why? I wouldn't have learned the lessons that I did if I hadn't made those mistakes. Then there are times when I would change everything in hopes of different lessons and outcomes.

Thirteen years, two husbands and two children later I am happy in my little world I finally managed to create. While it's far from perfect it works for me. At least most days it does. We spend most of our time at home when we're not out running errands or working. With the rising cost staying home is the obvious choice for us since it's easier to care for children when you have the funds to do so.

I decided that most of those things I wanted all those years ago weren't that important after all. I have three kids all together and we manage somehow to get by on a frayed shoe string every month. The "what if" moments are fewer now as I get a little older and realize that without all the bad decisions there never would have been a good decision in my life.

Learn more about this author, Laurie Childree.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.