by Bridget Webber

Created on: May 20, 2007   Last Updated: February 07, 2010

We are all aware that when children become teenagers, some become difficult to live with, and are disrespectful. But how do we deal with them?

A good place to start may be by trying to remember when we were teenagers. For me it seems like that was a lifetime ago but I can still remember that as a teenager my priorities were very different than they are today and that is bound to have affected my behavior.

Friendships and romances were of paramount importance, and took precedence over many other aspects of my life. Housework and responsibilities were way down on my list of what needed to be done, and so chores were carried out reluctantly and quickly, leaving me more time to spend doing what I considered to be of real importance.

If you can think back you may find that your priorities were different as a teenager too.

Now, as adults, we know all about responsibility and may have jobs and a mortgage to contend with. Teenagers generally have a different set of problems to worry about. We possibly don't take their concerns seriously compared to our own, but to them their problems are equally important. When they feel we dismiss their issues, and remind them of 'real' problems, ie ours, they feel misunderstood and angry about their own needs being dismissed, when they have so many strong feelings churning about inside of them.

During teenage years hormones can seem to take over, leaving the teenager to go through this time of transition in confusion with emotional highs and lows. They can be victims of this, and so can their families. Tantrums the likes of which had not been witnessed by the parents since the time of the terrible twos, reemerge with a vengeance. Doors are slammed regularly and it becomes impossible for a parent to have the final say in a conversation, as the teenager always has just one last comment, usually just before they slam the door.

Taking time to listen to your teenagers problems, and realizing that these problems are very important to them, can help them feel more understood and less alienated from you.

Spending time with them to show that you care and want their company, can remind them that they are important to you and loved.

Letting them know what sort of behavior is acceptable, and what is not firmly, but without shouting, gives them boundaries and stops them feeling abandoned while allowing you to speak your mind.

Finally running a nice, hot bubble bath, locking the bathroom door and putting in your earplugs can help you unwind.

Learn more about this author, Bridget Webber.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.