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We've all been there, the love of your life and them 'bam' either your feelings change and you end it, or you find out your partner has been cheating or they just end it out of the blue. I don't care whether its you that has done the breaking up, or its you that has finished it, it's still horrendous. For a few days you can't even comprehend anything else, everything reminds you of them, and you get that awful sick feeling in your stomach.

This is why I am writing this article. I was with my guy for around two and a half years. I loved him and I would've done anything for him. That was until I found out he had been unfaithful to me.

I was shattered. I locked myself in my room and watched dvd's all day. Sobbing when anything even slightly romantic came on the screen. This process occurred for around 3 weeks. Places, objects, items all set off the tears. I felt so alone, realising I had poured all of my time and effort into our relationship-it had left me with nothing. That was when I realised - that time and effort had been completely wasted!

This is where the self control has got to kick in. You have to realise how important it is to move on, and reading it here is completely different to me typing it. If you have jst lost a loved one - you will feel devastated, but I PROMISE, it won't always be like that. I am a firm believer in fate, and to be honest it probably wasn't meant to be and the universe will show you that!

Anyway, so basically I kicked myself up the backside, which was a good thing as I was beginning to drive everyone mad. The first thing I did was to remove everything that reminded me of him out of my sight. Pictures, cards, presents, clothes, jewelery, it all went. Though I wouldn't advise throwing it away - because one day you will be able to look back and it won't be painful. But get it out of your sight.

I also used to cradle my mobile phone, not letting it out of my sight - praying that he would call or text, which he never did. That was when I broke the cardinal rule and rang him and text him. Never do this! Delete their phone numer from your phone. That way temptation is removed.

A clean break is the best way to manage a break up. Being friends is all well and good, but you need time apart - the longer the better to readdress your feelings. I avoided the guy for about 3 months.

I must say I did have rebound relationships. This is dangerous ground as they do initially make you feel better about yourself - however you are going to hurt the other person - that is enevitable. Rebounds are cruel if the other person doesn't know. If they do and still choose to get involved then that is fair enough.

After 3 months I finally took one of his calls. He wanted me back he said, and he was sorry. I was curious so I did meet up with him. It was so hard. All the old feelings came flooding back to me, and Im not going to lie. Things happened. But at that point I had left it long enough for the feelings of being alone to subside, and the memories of all the good times we had shared had been replaced with the memories of what I had don and achieved since the split.

Although I think there always will be connections between you and your exes, (you have to remember at one point they were the closest person to you) eventually you will also realise that they aren't the one for you. It will take a while to see that, but you need to remind yourself why it was that you broke up. If you can get through the first month - you will be fine. Im really good friends with the majority of my exes. And don't worry, one day you will be too.

Learn more about this author, Amy Mccann.
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