by Marvin Swain

Created on: May 20, 2007

As an amateur writer I tend to hash and rehash all my life's experiences to relate to my creativity as best as I can. This Is as normal as human ways get, it helps me and others I hope. Our strengths and weaknesses are only related to our life's epics and involvements.

As I child then a young man I can truthfully say I was probably closest in metal and physical abilities to a cross between Gomer Pile, Baby Hughey and Hercules or Samson. Not wanting to discount my own worth but the truth is the truth. It does not say anything about my abilities now other than it has shaped my attitudes into a reflective perspective.

I believe The I was the victim of Asbergers syndrome, mildly to medium afflicted I would say.( Did I spell asbergers correctly, I always get hungry when I say it for some reason, it throws me off.) But hearing a radio show on the subject that lasted about 2 hours I can say all the symptoms were there in me.

I understood little about the world around me with the exception that I was very creative. In aspects of art and design or invention. My social skills were the worst and when you combine that with becoming a drunk and druggie you end up with an uncontrollable idiot. I know this because I lived it, I spent time fluctuating from one side of evil to the other side of good on a regular basis.

There are a few things that finally brought me back in line with reality. Number one was my knowledge of GOD, he has been there for me, though not always like I wanted he, was there. And my Mother, without her love I would have went off the deep end. That apron string pulled me back as I teetered on the edge of oblivion. And then the creation of what I call Brain flexing helped strengthen my physical ability to see things clearly.

These and the life I led in general helped me come back from destruction. Because of the knowledge of my life I was able but things in perspective with these other three things that helped me. As I said GOD has been there for me showing me little hints of his existence, letting me know if I would settle down he would come in and carry me through the rough waters. Now I know that as with all people GOD won't touch a soul who commits it's self to evil ways.

Then my Mother, as sweet as they come and a victim of life's evils herself. It is tough for the weaker of this Earth. The strong get satisfaction from hurting all others. And there is little we can do about it but pray and be as loving and as comforting as we can our self's. My

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