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How to tell if your spouse is hiding an affair

by Bridget Webber

Created on: May 19, 2007   Last Updated: August 04, 2011

If your spouse is having an affair they'll be secretive. There will be changes in their behavior, and probably appearance, as they attempt to deceive you and be seen as attractive to another person. Recognizing the signs of cheating will help you establish whether your husband or wife is behaving in an adulterous fashion.

Changes in grooming habits

A spouse who's having an affair will usually spend more attention on personal grooming than usual. They may start wearing more fashionable clothing and showering or bathing more often. They may begin wearing cologne or perfume, and change their hairstyle. This, however, is not proof they are hiding an affair. It could be that they have some other reason for making these changes, but if such reasons are not apparent to you, suspicions can be raised.

Lying

When having an affair a spouse will have to lie to you sometimes in-order to make time to see the other person. They may start working late at the office, or suddenly develop a new hobby that takes up a lot of their time, well, that's what they will tell you anyway. But again, they may really have a new hobby or extra work responsibilities that take up more of their time, and not be having an affair.

Physical intimacy

Usually a husband or wife who is having sex outside of marriage will not be so interested in their spouse in this way. If they are usually very active in this department, and then their enthusiasm wanes, they may be having a relationship elsewhere. But then again they may be suffering from a physical problem or be stressed. Both of these things can cause sexual dysfunction and a lack of libido.

Hidden communication

If your spouse has made all of the changes above there is even more chance that they may be hiding an affair. This coupled with secret telephone calls, and text messages you're not allowed to read is an ominous sign of 'possible' guilt.

If you are an insecure person who regularly accuses their spouse of having an affair, it could be that you need to boost your self esteem and learn to trust them more readily. Especially when you have no evidence and your spouse is behaving in a loving way toward you. However, if this isn't the case, you may want to confront your spouse about their secretive behavior, as this is the only way that you will most likely find out the truth, unless you catch them in the act of deceiving you.

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