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Read any news paper in America today in any given week and you will come across articles that both praise and chastise the people who are raising our youth today. Parents , teachers and coaches alike, This debate is center around the praising of our children and whether we are raising a generation of praise seeking superficially confident adults or well adjusted human beings.

Advocates of positive behavioral reinforcement will tell you that praising children often and together builds confident adults who are more adapt to succeed in today's society rather than always pointing out what is wrong with what they have done. Critics of this style of upbringing say we are raising over indulged, praise needy adults that are constantly seeking praise for mediocre or even bad behavior and performance. Critics feel that when children get it wrong they should be told. Only those that are exceptionally should be pointed out and recognized. In their opinion we are rewarding mediocrity and encourage a non-competitive under achieve generation to evolve.

In my opinion this could be true but I don't think it is a black and white argument. It is not one way vs. another. I think roles of the different influencers in a child's life have fused and crossed because everyone wants to be the good guy and nobody wants to the one to say "Your not the greatest, that kid is". Parents, teaches, coaches and mentors each have a role in a child's life. When each works with the other in the right role, that is when you have a well adjusted child that has the potential to be a successful adult. Will they all be the best? No, but you can be successful and not be the best this is what they need to understand.

While each role has a level of praise and coaching associated with its the percentages of the praise by role is different. Teachers, coaches and mentors really need to ground the child in realty, by always behing objective in feedback and where the child stands. This means they can't always be the nice guy to the child or to the parent.

The parents roll is the a little tricker and far more diffuctly because they need to praise, repremain as well but they also must provide unconditional love and support. Regardless of how big or bad the childs failures are or worse how average they are at things, Parents need to be their childs biggest fan and be there when the rest of the world is not on their side. When done with truth love and honesty, this grounds them in a place where they know feel they can always turn to for love and support without damage to their self confidence and ego.

This is not to say that parents should not coach or reprimand their children. They should but the child needs to been seen as special constantly by the parent and the teachers and coaches reward for outstanding behavior to those that excel beyond others. This balance will give children the self esteem to try and often as we know fail. This process eventually leads to success and even to the exceptional moments that the rest of the world praises and rewards.

So the sporting events where everyone is a winner and the programs that makes everyone equal should be abolished because all they do is make a society of grown ups that require praise for mediocrity and worse don't make this generation open to coaching and criticism that is vital to true growth and development of excellence.

Learn more about this author, Audrey Kerchner.
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