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Divorce is deciding that forever doesn't happen. No matter how long you have been with someone and then drifted away from them it's never easy. Deciding to get divorced can take months or minutes depending on the situation. Having gone through two divorces I know first hand that no matter how badly you wanted the divorce there is still a sense of sadness associated with a failed marriage.

My second divorce was years in the making. We grew apart and began to argue. It was like we woke up one day and began to be more like roommates than husband and wife. We spent the time we were home together ignoring each other. We began to work as much as we could to be out of the house. I worked every weekend to make sure I was at work when he was off.

Now in a marriage you want to save you would find time for each other. When you make no effort then the marriage is over; it's a partnership that you have to share equal responsibility for keeping together. One person can't do it all and when neither person makes the effort it's doomed for divorce court.

The lines of communication shut down completely, no longer were issued talked about but avoided causing a rift that wouldn't mend. We were friends when we first married. I lost my best friend when we got divorced. I was upset about it for a long time but eventually all of the pieces fell into place for me. I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself.

While it's not easy to end something that was once the only thing you wanted sometimes it does work out for the best. They say that everything has a reason but sometimes that reason takes a while to find. It only hurts for so long and eventually even that feeling fades away.

There are times when you will question yourself and the decision that you're making. Knowledge is gained when you go through a divorce. There is the reinforcement that nothing is certain in this life and you have to live each day as if there were no tomorrow coming to you. There is also the knowledge that you can depend on yourself. Someone to take care of you is not necessary.

It is nice to have someone to lean on from time to time but not impossible to lean on yourself for the comfort and support that you will need. You'll find that you have friends when you need them the most and you'll make new friends once you open your heart to the possibility.

No matter how much you have grown apart or how long you wanted to be apart the fact of the matter is that it still hurts. A divorce is too easy to get now if it were just a little harder more people might work on their marriages to make them work.

Learn more about this author, L. Beall.
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