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is wrong, and the borderline is in a lot of pain and doesn't know how to express that pain. the borderline sees things only in black and white they have no grey area Also, as I said, recognizing that control is a big issue is very important. Most borderlines are shy so putting them down for behaviors will just make the pain a hundred times worse, and their communication of that pain, and trusting others, that much harder. they need some kind of skills training through DBT or with a consilor to learn how to deal with issues, I recommend a meeting with a psychiatrist that has a lot of experience with Borderline Personality Disorder to let you know how to handle the person suffering with the disorder, and more about the disorder itself.

I also recommend a meeting with police officers in your community, if possible. I had a cousin that was a captain on the force in my town. One day a policeman picked me up to put me in the hospital and said, "Why don't you just get it over with and kill yourself instead of doing cat scratches?" After I was released I told my cousin what he said and he had a psychiatrist that wrote books on Borderline Personality Disorder meet with all the officers and teach them what the disorder is and how to handle folks suffering with it. The officer apologized to me and thanked me for opening his eyes to what we suffer and how he can help. He said that I did a wonderful thing by telling my cousin. I heard on the news that he same psychiatrist spoke to the police department of the big city I live in now. The more people that understand the better and easier Borderline Personality Disorder is to deal with.

One final note, the borderline is a fighter and believes this is the only way to express how they feel. I have tried to help borderlines through on-line support and been called every name in the book, saying I don't know their situation, when I do; and they certainly don't like an ex-borderline because they know too much and that bothers them. I have come to believe that an ex-borderline is not one to try and directly help an active borderline. Too many put downs may put you right back to a bad place, keep taking care of you and letting others in who care!

Learn more about this author, Lisa Roy.
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