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yet another was on bed checks in the hospital every five minutes and tied a sheet around her neck 30 seconds before she was supposed to be checked on, but, something was happening with another patient and the bed check was 10 minutes late; the girl died from choking. And one other I knew bled to death accidentally from her cutting; she hit an artery by accident.

How do you deal with the borderline without making the situation worse? Well, one thing of course, is never say "all you want is attention"- do pay attention to any actions of self harm, but, limit it to what's necessary for safety and instead let the borderline know that you will give them extra time to talk with you if they write about the feelings or let you know before they act on feelings especially. If you are a professional, a parent, a friend, or a relative maybe you can do dinner or a day out as a reward for the hard work of talking it through or writing it out. Let them know they are still in control by reacting to their writing and communicating what they are feeling about. Recognize they are going through some very difficult things and much pain. Understanding they are in pain is so important. And of course get them professional therapy.

I found I wanted a lot of control of my life and this manifested itself in my acting out. Which, deep down I think a lot of folks who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder desire, (they had no control over abuse or other hard situations at home as a kid) that is why eating disorders have been added as a symptom. The borderline can control pain, can control food, and can control your reaction.

Change is good. What do I mean by this? Well, here is a personal example, I was in and out of hospitals for years, a week here and a week there. Always controlling when I went in and when I left just by being good for a few days. But in the state hospital you have a hearing with a judge for a 10 day stay for evaluation and safety, after that if you are safe they can release you, if not they need to go to court again to commit you for a longer period. Well, one time, the last time, they decided to go for a 3 month commitment, while in court an investigator for the court showed up and told about all of my several hospitalizations and serious behaviors and asked for a year commitment. And he won! This took all of my control away, but, I didn't get it at first. After two and a half months I decide to act like all was well and not act out, believing they would let me

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