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The closet is a pretty lonely place to be. It's dark, it's cramped and worst of all, when you're in there, people forget you exist.

It's the forgetting about existence part that is the most damaging component of "staying in the closet". There is no question that it is an incredibly personal choice to come out and to live life as an openly gay person. There are some inherint risks to being out. But there are also some substantial risks to staying in. And staying in not only hurts that gay individual, it also hurts the rest of the gay folks who are feeling alone and ostracized.

Being out brings both positive and negative attention. Living a life that is open and honest is one that brings respect, both from others and from one's self. There is nothing more powerful than stepping into the sunshine and saying, "I have nothing to be ashamed of".

If no one ever took that step out of the closet, where would the rest of us be? We'd also be staring at the back of that door, cowering in the darkness, hoping no one opening our "doors" and shined the light on us. Staying "in" says that being gay is something to be ashamed of. It's something that doesn't deserve recognition.

As long as we, as a gay community, believe that being gay is something to be ashamed of or something that shouldn't be recognized, we will never be accepted by the general, mostly heterosexual, population. Staying in the closet damages all of us by forcing us to live in fear and oppression.

Learn more about this author, Kris Olds.
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