THE DAY I WON THE LOTTERY

I wake up staring at the ceiling. I feel like I have been train wrecked. My outlook on the world today is bland and uninspiring. I hit writer's block two days ago and I am still mourning my creative ability with hopes it will resurrect itself soon. I think God is punishing me for something but I have no idea why; I live such a wholesome life. I have hit the point where even my conscience is talking to me:

Self: "Honey, I don't think this is working out. It's not you, it's me! I think we need space."

I refuse to answer back. Not because of the stereotypical characteristics associated with answering ones self, but because I have nothing to say until Mr. Conscience apologizes!

I then sit up and sit on the side of my bed and it dons on me: I have been wearing the same spaghetti stained t-shirt for two days. The stain has graduated to being an annoyance. Therefore, being the spotless perfectionist that I am, I lift the shirt over my head, turn it inside out and put it back on. Stain GONE!

I get up and go fumbling through the kitchen and make a pot of coffee. While I am waiting for my Starbucks brew, I look for some cereal. Corn Puffs - I pour a big bowl.

(Its not that it's my favorite, but it's all I have until I go shopping.)

I then shuffle to the fridge.

"No Milk. That's just Great!"

I need a substitute! I rummage through the cupboards Nothing. What the hell can I use? I look in the pantry. No condensed milk or evaporated either. Then I see it Kahla! I make Chocolate Ghetto Puffs. (Don't judge me!)

I go back to the coffee pot again and become immediately disgusted with myself.

"Dammit, I forgot to put coffee in!"

I now have a pot of hot water.

"Can this day get ANY worse?"

I guess I could make tea? No. Instant coffee? No, that stuff tastes like crap.

Ovaltine? Why Not!

Hot Ovaltine and Chocolate Ghetto Puffs It's the breakfast of Champions!

As I turn on the TV eating my cocoa concoction my mind wanders and my imagination starts to toy with me as I see a woman ecstatic over winning the lottery.

Voices in my head (taunting): "Maybe you should play the lotto!"

Me (depressed): "no, I don't think so. I never win."

Voice: "You never play!"

Me (pondering): "True"

Voice (convincing): "You could WIN!"

Me (getting excited): "really?"

Voice in my head: "God WANTS you to win. Think about it, Do HAPPY people win? NO! This would make

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