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By the Grace of God

Everyone's testimony starts with, by the Grace of God, which in and of itself is an awesomely true statement, proving the understanding of those people who have found faith. We are all saved by His gift of grace at His timing, and when we give Him the credit, or Glory, as it is put in Christian circles,for all that is good in our lives,well, the faith grows. My testimony is no different.

I thought I was happy. The crucial and life threatening happenings in my life, had oddly enough, taken on a veil of tedious normalcy. That seems so out of order now, but we live in a world where danger is fun and fun can kill you. I had a few scrapes with the not so safe, an abusive boyfriend, experimentation with drugs and sex, and a husband (ex now) who was sexually risking my life daily. I would not have described these events, at the time, as near death in my life, but looking back now I know it was so very close to me that it left it's essence. I had not endured the death of another close to me, though, in all of my thirty six years. Again, creating a numbness that is deadly all on it's on.

Nothing so exciting in the natural world was going on at the time that I began to hear the voice of God. Just routine days and nights filled me and my family's lives. Just getting by, biding our time, and vaguely asleep as to what it all meant and would lead to. Having no real understanding of faith and the impact it would have on our lives, we just floated on by in life. In the bustle of daily life, it was an afterthought, maybe a fleeting pang right before sleep took us on a nightly journey to stress relief.

My mother, who was in and out of mental illness all of my life, was well and trying to save my soul again. It was at times like these when I wondered two things. Was I switched at birth and did I somehow make her mentally ill? I was a child and questioned these things because I was nothing like my family. So here she was witnessing the "Good News" again. In frustration of my attitude, she asked that the next time I encountered a thing I could not handle on my own, I ask God to do it for me. I agreed so that she would stop, and ended the conversation.

It was winter, and I drove the normal half hour to work and back a day. I had an old Ford van, the heat didn't work and the window malfunctioned regularly. It would not roll up or down, almost depending on its mood, and I drove to and from work on a toll road. It was aggravating to say the least. Well a few days after

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