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Heartless
Novacaine Havoc

I do not know what feelings are
for I have no emotion
For I have no heart
I have no soul
death is my devotion.

I cannot feel
I cannot die
and neither can I bleed
Suicide is pointless
but the thought still grows on me.

My twin brother Hoic
would share in this situation
though he is not more deppressed than I
but neither is he pleasant.

I never was a happy girl

yet neither was I sad
and as much as others tortured me
I was never mad

I have no heart
I have no soul
I have nothing to call my own
I cannot love
I cannot hate
yet what I am is left unknown

I know I'm not the the only one
there was someone like us before
they found a way to kill her off
I wish they would do it once more

My friend Eather
who became my friend by choice
is the only one who cares for me
and always speaks her voice

She calls me Nova and tells me jokes
and these stupid little rhymes
She's tried to make me smile dozens and dozens of times.

She has not yet succeeded once
and she never will
because out of my brother and I
he's the only one to feel.

He met a girl named Mary
whom Eather introduced
and started to fall angry
when other men would swoon.

I should be glad he found someone
but this is very hard
I am not lucky as he is
I am not loved as he is
I have no feeling as he does
and I cannot even cry.

I have many scars upon my wrist
my feeble attempts to feel
nothing ever happens though
the pain is never real.

I cannot have dreams at night
no nightmares in my sight
and nor do I ever sleep
I do not eat
I cannot breathe
I cannot even be real.

I am nothing
a Heartless nothing
a Peculiar, Hideous, hated nothing.

For my name is Novacaine
the cause of which I feel no pain.

I want my life to end again
I want something to feel.

Learn more about this author, Black Rose.
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