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American English as spoken in the USA has many regional variations. From northern Maine to southern Mississippi, natives speak differently. This article is a handy guide for visitors, American English students, and for us Midwesterners (who, as everyone in the Midwest knows) actually have no accent). This article will, I hope, help the ESL learner in deciphering the bewildering variations in accents and pronunciation quirks they will undoubtedly encounter as they travel our country.

The Northeastern "Pahty-Gouhs."

In the sentence, "I pahked my cah and went to the pahty," the speaker is describing what action he took with his vehicle before he departed for a celebratory event. An exact, unaccented translation would be, "I parked my car and went to the party." The speaker could be a man named "Cahl," "Mahvin," or "Rahbut" (Carl, Marvin, or Robert). His girlfriend could be "Shahlut" or "Rahbutah." He might also be a "Bahstun Red Sox" fan. (You get the gist by now, I think.)

The main distinction in our Northeastern accent, among other foibles, is the absence of the broad American "r" sound. North easterners threw away the "r" and substituted it with the sound "ah." Also, those folks speak without the aid of any nasality whatsoever, which explains how "New York" can become "Noo Yahk." That pronunciation could not survive adenoidal reverberation.

The Southern "Wretched Balks Steal-uhs"

Here's a southern sentence: "Mahmuh, Wretched stowl mah balks." To unravel the confusion this statement might cause the outsider, I shall parse that sentence: "Mahmuh" is the speaker's mother (or, in southern lexicon, the "speakhuh's muthah"). "Wretched" is the speaker's brother. Other famous "Wretcheds" were "Wretched Nixon, Wretched Burton," and the Shakespeare character "Wretched III" (of "Mah keengdum foah a hoahs!" fame).

Lastly, the term "balks" refers to a container, as in "mayutch balks," where one would find implements to light fires. In the rural South they use "mayutches" in lieu of Zippo "lahtuhs."

When listening for the southerners' accent and speech patterns, be especially aware of their tendency to make two-syllable words out of one-syllable words. Examples would be "way-ul" (well), "hee-yit" (hit), and "ay-yunt" (aunt). Also, note that like Northeasterners, Southerners have jettisoned everyone else's "r" sound; only they prefer to pronounce it "uh." Thus, they might say, "Wretched Nixon stowl a lahtuh from the Wat House."

California's "Irritable Vowel" Sufferers

Yes, Californians

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