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The common belief that women are attracted to jerks and prefer to remain "just friends" with the nice guys is not necessarily true. There are, however, enough situations that would seem to support this belief, and that is probably why it often so embraced in its over-simplified form.

The truth is well adjusted, mature, women with adequate self-esteem are not in the least bit attracted to jerks; and the minute the new boyfriend (or longer term partner) begins to exhibit the behavior of a giant jerk he will find himself out the door.

The belief that woman are, in general, attracted to jerks rather than nice guys, though, is an umbrella under which all unhealthy situations and relationships are often placed. In addition to the unhealthy situations and relationships that are real, however, are the situations imagined by some boys or men who need to find a comfortable explanation for their own apparently lack of attractiveness to women.

The belief that women are attracted more to jerks may start in the teen years and in the school setting when the most physically attractive boys are the ones over whom girls swoon (either openly or secretly). As cold as this may seem, what will catch the eye of a teenage girl (and often a women of more advanced chronological age) is a boy's physical attractiveness. They need to be "cute". For the immature, cute, boy who has caught the eye of girls since elementary school there is sometimes the chance how he sees himself can be affected by his experience. He knows he's cute. He knows he catches the eyes of a lot of girls. He gets to start to think he can get any girl he wants for his date or as a girlfriend. While he may be a decent person at heart, his immaturity doesn't always remain immune to all the good feedback he enjoys. He's a kid. Girls are interested in him. He may have trouble "staying faithful" to his 16-year-old girlfriend. He is a normal teenage boy with the insecurities all kids have, and he knows he's too young to take any relationship too seriously. While the awkward boy may often be without a date or a girlfriend, the cute boy can overlap one relationship with another. He plays the hand he's been dealt just as everyone else does. He doesn't know any other way of being.

In teenagers, the cold reality is that young girls are attracted to the cutest boys and less attracted to the awkward ones. For teenagers looks are often the biggest determining factor when it comes to who wants to date whom. Not all good-looking boys

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