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Some folks tend to think that divorce is an issue solely between a husband and a wife: it's not. Divorce has effects that lend themselves to the children of a divorcing couple. These effects are numerous and often immeasurable.

The most important aspect of divorce is keeping the interest of the children at the forefront. If you are to be the custodial parent; keep in mind that the children also have a father and mother. If you are to be the noncustodial parent; pay your required child support on time and regularly.

I've been through a nasty divorce. I did what I could to keep things civil between my ex-wife and I. Unfortunately she didn't see things the same way. She felt it was necessary to alienate me from my children and my children from me. She took the divorce as an affront to her and the children. She went so far as to tell my son and daughter that I didn't love them anymore.

Through a series of unfortunate events I lost contact with my children for almost a year. In that year, she remarried and moved to another state over 800 miles away. I met her current husband and personally think he's a real good guy and makes a good husband and step-father to my children.

I found out, secondhand, that they moved. I searched and searched for information and finally was able to ascertain a current phone number and called them. I spoke to them off and on for several months. During my conversations I was able to determine that they were happy and healthy. I also determined that their mother was still very bitter and fed them unhealthy portions of distrust. She told them that she contacted me and told me that they were moving and that I didn't care one way or the other. She told them these outright lies, and without me being able to correct her, they believed. They often questioned why I didn't visit, why I wasn't there. I did my best to assure them that I did in fact love them and wanted to see them, however it would take some time to save the money required to pay for such an expensive undertaking. What I didn't mention were my concerns as to what their mother may do to prevent this.

One month went by wherein I was unable to contact them and then the number was changed to an unlisted number. I did everything I could, up to and including going to court again. I was informed by the judge that there was nothing that he could do as they reside out of state and are now residents of that state. I was told I would have to go to that state and file paperwork and hire a lawyer:

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