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Conversation is innate to humans. You can rely on this as you start a conversation. People will be remembering this, not needing to learn new skills as much as they will be recalling a skill that is deep in our species' memory.

But it's often somewhat scary to think about hosting a conversation. To make it easier, we suggest:

Start with a few friends. This is how all powerful change initiatives begin. Some friends start talking.

Start talking about what you really care about. (a subject, a recent event, something that just happened) Meaning is what motivates people and calls us into the conversation.

Form as a real circle. In a circle, everyone is equal. Thus, the form itself is crucial to a good conversation. No one should be in back, and the circle shouldn't wobble around. An easy test for a circle is this: Everyone can see everyone else. If latecomers stay outside the circle, or people gradually shift out of the circle, stop and recreate yourselves as a circle, with everyone visible to everyone else.

Use a talking piece. This is any object that can be passed around. It can be a pen, a cell phone, or something more meaningful, such as a special stone or object. The talking piece has two rules: 1. You don't speak unless you're holding it. 2. You try and speak truthfully while holding it. (These rules come from Native American and African traditions.)

There is no easier way to change power dynamics, or to facilitate thoughtful conversation. A talking piece slows the pace of conversation down, and when someone is speaking too long, it's much easier to signal that you want the talking piece than to tell them to stop talking. You don't need to use it constantly, but it's very helpful when you're just getting started, or when the conversation heats up and too many people are talking at once, or when one person keeps dominating.

Check-in and check-out. At the start of the conversation, pass the talking piece around the circle. Each person checks in very briefly. State at the start how much time you want people to take. Start with whomever wants to start, and then pass the talking piece clockwise around the circle. The check-in can be a few words describing how I'm feeling, or why I'm here, or what I hope might happen. In this process, everyone gets to speak, and thus their voice enters the circle. Check-out is similar, and closes the conversation. Start with whomever wants to go first, and then pass the talking piece counter-clockwise. Each person says a few words about

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