The only difference between a heterosexual person and a gay person is that a heterosexual person prefers to have sex with someone of the opposite sex, a gay person prefers their own sex. There are, to my knowledge, no other differences.

This would suggest that how to tell if you are gay shouldn't be any more difficult than it is to tell if you are heterosexual.

There are, however, some social differences in that there are many people who are prejudiced against gay people and this can make coming to terms with being gay that much more difficult for people, particularly when young and without much life experience yet.

The fear of being judged by others can make what should be an empowering step into the world of a fully functioning adult a daunting task that is not taken lightly.

The way that most people know which gender they prefer sexually is by how they feel around certain people. A strong physical and emotional response involving arousal is usually a good indicator of ones preferences.

Fantasizing about sexual activity with a member of the same sex does not necessarily mean that the person fantasizing is gay. Studies have shown that such fantasies amongst both heterosexual and bisexual people are not uncommon.

If a person is having difficulties in deciding whether or not they are gay then it may help them to talk with an understanding friend or counselor who can help to dispel any fears that they may have and pave the way to an easier answer.

Learn more about this author, Heidi Marie Fleetfoot.
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