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want me to give him a kiss or cuddle in front of his peers - or even to come near his class.

Another specific occasion that stands out in my mind as a beautiful bonding experience was when I took him to see the Hooley Dooleys (an Aussie kids' band) in concert for the first time. We actually had tickets for our whole family - but our little girl had only just come out of hospital after a bout of pneumonia and was still not well enough for such an outing. So I just took my little boy and I remember fondly the way he beamed up at me after we arrived at the concert. It was obvious he was feeling very special indeed to be enjoying such a wonderful cosy experience with his mummy all on his own.

One of the most beautiful bonding experiences I've had with both our children is reading to them. When he was very little my son wouldn't sit still long enough to read him a story and he'd be trying to turn the pages all the time while I was reading to him - which was frustrating for me. But I can remember well when he did start to sit still and really concentrate on what I was reading - and how he went through this delightful stage where he'd be squealing with excitement, "Look! Mummy, look!" as he pointed at the pictures! While it was difficult to read the story with his continual high-pitched squeals of delight, it really was adorable and the stuff of very special memories!

My little girl requires such a lot of special attention and spends a lot of time on my lap. She cannot do anything to entertain herself and the thing she loves most in all the world is what we refer to as "Mummy cuddles". She has always been the most snuggly child you could imagine. So when I read stories to the children it's always her that's on my lap and my little boy has always had to sit beside me. I also spend a considerable amount of time each day sitting with her on my lap while she watches the children's TV programs. My lap has always belonged predominantly to her because of her very special needs. This is one of the many ways in which my little boy has been affected by being the sibling of a profoundly disabled child. It's just one of those sad facts of life in our circumstances. But there is a wealth of warmth in our family life - and he gets to enjoy other beautiful experiences with us that our little girl can't - like being able to come home from school and tell me all about what he's been doing that day - and just being able to chatter on and on with us, ask us loads of questions and share two-way conversation with us. The bonds of communication are something he experiences far more than many kids do in today's world where many parents don't seem to talk with their kids much at all.

The bonding we have experienced with our two children since they were born has been so very different - but they both mean the world to us. I hope my little boy somehow understands deep in his heart that, though I have to give very special attention to his sister, I love him with every atom of my being too - and so does his daddy.

Learn more about this author, Ruth Woodhouse.
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