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squirming so much.

I do remember though a stage when he was a bigger baby - until about the time he hit the naughty toddler stage - where I was absolutely besotted by him. I guess it really was very much like a honeymoon period in a way. He was just so gorgeous and adorable and was always smiling and laughing - and I can remember how I would look at him and my heart would feel like it was being squeezed tightly by the intensity of my love for him. Yes, just like what you feel when you're newly in love with the man or woman of your dreams! Later, those feelings were still there but were counter-balanced by some degree of frustration with how naughty and defiant he could often be.

I can remember when he was little expressing this theory that the reason babies are so cute and adorable is essentially natural, inbuilt self-protection. When they give you one of their gorgeous grins you just can't stay cross with them and you can't help but fall in love with them all over again. I have since heard that this theory I came up with myself is actually recognized as paediatric textbook fact.

I remember well too the intensity of the feelings I had towards him when I watched him learning to walk - those beautiful clumsy steps of a new toddler - with arms stretched out in front of their body as if to balance themselves. It's always cute to watch - but when it's your own child it just makes your heart do flip-flops - especially when you have an older child who can't walk. The sweetness of his baby voice and the way he said things when he was learning to talk affected me the same way. His daddy would often comment on how his voice just overwhelmed him with emotion too - particularly when his little boy talked to him on the phone. His voice still has that effect on us even now he's a school boy.

I remember specific occasions when he's done things that have made my heart turn over too. Like once when we had parked our car in an underground carpark and I jumped out to go the toilet while my husband got the children out of the car. When I came back my little boy's face lit up with joy at seeing me again and he came racing up to me with a delighted squeal of "Mummy!" and his arms held up to embrace me. I think that moment will always stand out in my mind. There have been many times since he started pre-school and then kindergarten too when I've gone to pick him up and he's come rushing up to me with such joy in his face. I'm so glad he hasn't yet reached the stage where he doesn't

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