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Landlord Convicted in Plot to Kill Two Tenants." http://www.bridgeandtunnelclub .com/blog/archives/2004/12/the _perils_of_r.html),

b) sifting through the "No-fee apartment listings" and just praying you can pick out the legitimate ones:

(http://www.inman.com/inm annews.aspx?id=43816. Try www.rent-direct.com. They're a great alternative to brokers, that you'll want to work with anyway, for a measure of safety, especially if you're short on time, as I was).

c) panicking in real estate listing offices that routinely look, sound, and feel like the New York Stock Exchange on "Black Tuesday." The NYC housing/apartment market is one of the world's most competitive:

http://www.abcnews .go.com/Nightline/story?id=160 1227&page=1

and it's "fast!" i.e., if you get a call in the morning about a 'great apartment' in a 'great neighborhood' at - and here's the key words - 'an affordable price,' you've got about 45 seconds, at the "most," to act on the opportunity,

d) fighting off hard selling agents (who's commission is often 15-20% of a years worth of rent in the world's most pricey apartment market),

. . . and all the while you'll feel you're just an insignificant piece of paper, flying through the maelstrom, trying desperately to find something - anything - to hang onto while fighting off visions of becoming homeless "in this city".

However, if you work with good "no-fee apartment listings" & a good broker, you won't feel so alone. And it turned out I was not alone: I was lucky to work with a great guy & broker, Leif.

PART II.

Once I actually started to find these most elusive and chimeric of objects known as "Affordable New York City Apartments," I was then and only then able to focus on price.

As much as I liked Leif, NOT paying a broker is a great savings, and, I got Lucky (you just gotta believe you're gonna get lucky - that's a big factor in being lucky). I found an affordable apartment in an pleasant sunny neighborhood using a legit "no-fee apartment listings".

Now - it was more than I wanted to pay at the outset, but by the time I found it, like the proverbial lost man in rags dragging himself through the desert towards either a mirage or true oasis (it doesn't matter because he's on his last strength), I paid the going rate, and I never blinked or felt ungrateful.

So, in the end, after going through credit checks, unbelievably extensive interviews involving bank statements, reference letters from employers, from previous landlords, from roommates(!), copies of at least 2 years worth of tax returns, finding and convincing potential guarantors who have even better credit than I do (which isn't easy), getting at least 2 years of THEIR tax returns and evidence of THEIR good job so that they could co-sign the lease with me, after all that and STILL(!?) getting turned down, luck and the gods finally intervened, and finally . . . oh my god: my apartment: it took a month to find, a month to move in, and it's beautiful, wonderful, a miracle - I feel as if I fought through hell itself to get it, and it's mine, Mine, MINE!

If you even joke with a New Yorker about taking their apartment from them - they will kill you instantly, and no local jury will ever convict them.

Learn more about this author, Christopher Calliope.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

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