My wife and I married young by some standards. I was 21, she was 19. We were pregnant within a few months. I was making $9.15 and hour and she was staying home. Society would have said we were doomed from the start, and I would be lying if I claimed we didn't go through hard times. Heck, more than 6 years, 2 kids, 2 chickens and a dog later, we still have our challenges every day. I think she's probably wanted to throw in the towel (or throw a brick at me) any number of times.

Here's the kicker: we both come from families where marriage has historically been a life-long commitment come hell or high water. Our grandparents and parents were lifetime (50 to 60+ years) partners. We went into it assuming that we'd be the only other one for each other for the rest our lives. Maybe that's how we've made it these 6 short years, and I hope how we'll make it till the end.

Why the assumption of a life-long commitment? I'm not sure. Yes, there is some basis is religion, but we are a concoction of various (dis) beliefs. For us I think it's an idea that "now that we've done it, why not make it work?". What's marriage if not a commitment to each other and to the relationship? Any logical adult who is seriously contemplating making vows should at least have the good sense to realize that it's not going to be perfect from the start. There is no such thing as a storybook marriage!

The last statistic on divorce I cared to pay attention to said that about 50% of marriages fail. That was a few years ago, and I don't know what it is today, but it's certainly higher. Follywood actors, debutants and celebs whose Vegas marriages last a month or even (in an unfortunately high-profile case) a day certainly don't help the statistic or the perceived sanctity of marriage. (Celebrity marriages are fodder for an article unto itself). How disheartening that our children are growing up in a world where divorce is becoming less of a rarity and more of a certainty!

Our nation's laws don't help, either. They make it surprisingly simple for a divorce to be filed and finalized without a shred of justification. "Irreconcilable differences"? Oh come on! Try some counseling, get some help, go on more dates, and spend more one-on-one time together. If there's no abuse, then falling back in love isn't that hard to do. Unless there are underlying, unspoken reasons for wanting to get out of the marriage, in which case, be an adult and realize the grass might be greener on the other side, but it will certainly wilt as quickly as you've let your current marriage die.

Again, if there is abuse or infidelity, maybe this doesn't apply. You'll have to decide whether you (and obviously your partner) are willing or able to get some help and keep trying. That's a tough situation and I wouldn't presume to judge anybody who ends a relationship because of it.

However, if you just can't seem to get along and you're just "not in love anymore," get over it! Commit to your marriage. Be an adult, not a wimp. Find out how to fix it and make it work!

Learn more about this author, David J. Irwin.
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