A great book was written on this subject by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas They contend that there are 5 languages of apology, and that when we don't use the language of the person we are apologizing to, they are unable to hear us. The sincerity of the apologizer is suspect unless we hear the apology in a way we understand. This has been the cause of problems forever. Maybe by learning how to apologize, we can make the perfect apology a reality and not a myth.

The five apology languages:
1. "EXPRESSING REGRET" "I am sorry"
2. "ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY" "I was wrong"
3. "MAKING RESTITUTION" "What can I do to make it right?"
4. "GENUINELY REPENTING" "I'll try not to do that again"
5. "REQUESTING FORGIVENESS" "Will you please forgive me?"

By learning how to speak all five apology languages, you can begin to make the perfect apology: one that will be heard and perceived as sincere by the other person. The book goes into detail about the apology languages and offers help in learning to know your and other people's primary language. Forgiveness is covered as well as how to apologize to different people in your life (family, spouse,...).
One chapter that is worth reading for anyone is the chapter(s) on how to teach your children to apologize. If we all taught our children, soon all would know and many more people would be free of the bitterness that comes with unforgiveness.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who needs to apologize to someone.

The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships. Chapman, Gary; Thomas, Jennifer. Northfield Publishing. Chicago.

Learn more about this author, Angela S. Young.
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