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Starting a friendship with your ex-boyfriend is not an easy thing to accomplish. Most times they can't work because one or both persons still hold some sort of emotional feelings for the other. You've probably had this happen to you before.. You are in a long-term relationship with someone and you become best friends with your significant other. Relationships are based on some of the same things that good friendships are based on, which are trust, reliability, and love. When you are with someone..and I meanly truly with someone, you HAVE to become their friend. This does, however, make it even harder if things don't work out. I have tried before to do the friendship after relationship thing and I regret to say that it hasn't worked for me because I let my old feelings get in the way. There are a few ways I think that this can be made easier to do.

First, you can't try to start a friendship with your ex right after a break-up. You need to give both of you time to heal and move on. Even if the relationship ended on a equal decision, there are still feelings there that need to move on. If you get right back into it after it's finished, you are more likely to become friends-with-benefits because both people are very used to being physically close to one other.

Which brings me to my second... DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS! I don't even understand this concept. If you are friends and physically with one another it might as well be a relationship! A lot of people who try to stay friends with an ex try this out and it never works! Someone always gets hurt.

Next, you need to watch out for your feelings. Don't let this friendship hurt you. Don't fall back in love with the man that your not with anymore. Make this about the good "friend" side that you had when you were together. Like how you can tell each other things and trust their opinion, and have fun, and hang out with mutual friends. Just make sure to keep your feelings of love out of it because that could ruin your friendship forever.

So, I believe that this rare friendship with ex's thing is out there..I unfortunately haven't been able to obtain it, but I think as long as you watch yourself you should be able to get there. Just don't carry on something because your trying to hang on to your ex...it's not worth hurting yourself over. Your feelings are something you need to watch out for no matter what, because you are important.

Learn more about this author, Nichole Burgoyne.
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