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"Diary of a Dead Man"

These are the writings of Captain Bernard, leader of Suicide Squad Uber Bravo 76891.

I may die at any time, so you would do well not to get too attached to my writing. I do not think this will present any sort of problem.

I never used to keep a journal. This is a first for me. But, you see, I think I will be dead by the end of this week, so I figured I should get some things down before inevitability pays me a visit.

I have been on 144 suicide missions, and am still alive. Not even permanently damaged in any way; though once I came about two inches from being a paraplegic. This was a record. See, everyone dies in my business. The record before mine was thirty missions. Then the guy got his head blown off, thirty one.

It will happen to me, too. I have long accepted my fate: I was born to die.

We all accept it. That is our training, our upbringing. Anyone who does not understand was not raised in a military complex, taught by age eight how to kill a man with your thumb.

Most people do not understand.

After this much experience, I got good. Some did not like that; it gave me value above my fellow squad members. To have value screwed everything up We were supposed to be a completely expendable and replaceable commodity. I had more benefits than most; after awhile, they gave me harder missions, and I still came out alive. It was uncanny, but it was also my nature: I am a survivor.

They do not like survivors on suicide squads these days.

See, the average death rate per mission was 1.5. That was out of four people, a quad for the squad. One to two would die per mission; which was why they called it a suicide squad; sooner or later, you're bound to die.

I just hope my death is truly beautiful, magnificent. After all this time it had better be. And to die of old age I'm not sure how I feel about that. I don't dwell on this thought, as it is a moot point: I will not die an old man. I will die working, like the rest.

But I have value.

So when the Ryben job came up, and my name was drawn, they hesitated. See, there are two types of suicide mission: impossible and guaranteed. I got all the impossibles, first 144 times, and always topped them. But the guaranteeds were just that: the certain kiss of death. Kamikaze stuff to bring down the enemy; nothing works better than this, because they never expect it. Suicide squads have a proud tradition of being the one unit in the military always capable of producing surprises. And with a bomb to the chest a necessity, the

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