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I call this "A Letter From Upstream". It's a letter from me to the child I was, a bit of creative deja vu.

Dear Bruce,

I know that your initial surprise at hearing from me in upstream time will evaporate quickly. After all I am you, and self-affinity can't be effaced by time. In a sense you already know what I'm about to say since whatever waves have washed through me began as ripples in you. Therefore even if you don't fully grasp my words your spirit will acknowledge their echo within that wordless but unerring allure that will grant you a retainer of comfort until your understanding pushes its roots to a greater depth.

I wanted to tell you the things foremost in my heart before certain harsh events overtake you in hopes that I might mollify their severity. Not only of the events themselves but because your personality is one that drinks severity to the dregs. I have no power to prevent the events nor do I think I would if I could in every case. One thing I have learned is that everything is double-edged. The relationship or career with the most promise can wither into a source of the most painful bitterness while something you are convinced no good could possibly come from blossoms in a way you'd have never believed if you didn't experience it.

At first I had thought to tell you of many things. But the impulse died almost as soon as it was born because I know that only a few principles underlie and rule legions of events just as DNA underlies a diversity of humanity. If you comprehend that then no event ever really catches you fully unaware. If with this letter I can at least water the seed of hope and perseverance already within you then I shall be gratified. For that is the seed I have found so difficult to coax into healthy growth, and I believe I've traced that difficulty to the despairing soil spread in you in your fledgling time.

Bruce, you well know that your main source of pain comes from one trait; your innate sense of fairness. Why you're like that you have no idea. But whatever violates that sense causes you to writhe inwardly like a worm on a fishing hook. Take heart. You will outgrow being so overly sensitive about things. But you'll always retain that sense. That sensitivity is why the double whammy so thoroughly devastates you. The kids tease you for being chubby, and it hurts. But far worse the other black kids keep their spears sharpened on the fact that you are such a light skinned black boy who looks almost white. I remember the day you walked

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